That's why I intentionally surround myself w/ people who are teachable. I don't ever want to be "that guy" who can't be rebuked or corrected 'cause I am so confident that I have all the answers and everybody else is wrong.

We all know that it's true in a negative sense...

That being said, I have become very intentional about hanging out with certain personality types and avoiding others. Here's one I seek out...

I don't understand the psychology of it, but when someone begins a conversation with a smile... it makes all the difference in the world. People who smile have the power to reduce stress in the lives of those around them and make life much more fun for others.

On the contrary, when I see someone who doesn't smile regularly... I avoid them. They make me uncomfortable. They come across as intimidating. And whether they realize it or not, they suck the energy out of the environment that they are in.

Here's a TED talk that explains this some more.

It's true.

Can I suggest something? ......STOP BEING SUCH A DIVA!

I can't be excited about every mission opportunity... or every community outreach... or every prayer meeting... or every legit need that should be addressed in some way.

It's arrogant to think that everybody should be as passionate as you are about certain issues. 

One of the biggest mistakes that followers of Jesus make is to assume that every other Christian or church leader should share their passion. That's unrealistic and stupid. 

The fact is, you are uniquely gifted by God to CARE FOR and DO SOMETHING ABOUT certain issues that others are not gifted by God to do. In other words, you have a personal responsibility to act on the passions God's given you 'cause He doesn't give everybody the same passion.

Scott Harrison has a passion for bringing clean water to developing countries.

Rick Warren has a passion for developing church leaders.

Richard Stearns has a passion for providing various forms of relief to the poor and oppressed in our world.

Apart from the big names, there are volunteers in churches all around the world who are making a difference by acting on their God-given passions.

Check out this inspirational story of two people that you've probably never heard of, from EastLake Church in San Diego, who did something about the passion God gave to them.

A true sign of spiritual maturity, for all of us, is to refrain from complaining or evaluating other Christians based on what we think they should be doing and instead run with the passions God has given us!

It's often impossible to see in the moment, but God extends grace to us in the lowest moments of our life. Unfortunately (or fortunately) God's grace looks different for each individual. Sometimes it comes in the form of an encouraging note, or phone call, or memory, or a random circumstance. 

Regardless, it's God's way of giving us strength to carry on.

In 2 Corinthians 12:9, the apostle Paul wrote about God's response to him over an ongoing struggle in his life, "...My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness."

I think that is true for all of us.

At the moment of loss, it feels like life leads to a dead end. The good news is... it doesn't have to.

In the Bible there are many stories of loss. How those stories unfold are the results of the attitude of the person going through it.

In Ruth 1:20, Naomi concluded that as a result of losing her husband and sons she wanted to be known as bitter, because of what had happened to her. This is a tragic choice.

Later on in the Bible, we read about how King David's son died after battling a sickness. David's response? He got up, washed himself, changed his clothes and went into the temple to worship (2 Samuel 12:20)! 

That's how I want my stories of loss to end. I want to say in the good times and in the bad times... God is still God and I choose to worship Him.

Here are some more lessons on my journey of loss:

Like it or not, loss is often an amputation to who we are.

People identify us in certain ways. We're known as the athletic one, or the teacher, or the beauty queen, or the manager, or the owner, or whatever...

Here are some more lessons on my journey of loss:

During seasons of loss, God feels distant. He appears uninterested. Everything that is happening to us feels like random dots that can't be connected.

In reality, God is able to take the random things that happen to us and use them in the greater story of our life. We see this over and over in the Bible.

God  is able to take the struggles... and pain... and hurts... and losses we go through to help others and to shape us as people.

That doesn't mean He causes our pain. It just means He uses it.  

In the case of my brother Rick's death, it became a catalyst in my family and I moving to Kenosha, WI. and starting Great Lakes Church. Once again proving... God never wastes a hurt.

I know this sounds very odd. Maybe even like I'm trying too hard. But God likes to use our losses to show His amazing power and strength. He likes to give us peace, when we should be restless. He likes to give us strength, when we should only know weakness. It's His way of proving to us how great He is!

That's why in Philippians 1:12-14, the apostle Paul refers to his time in prison and loss of freedom by saying that God used it to further spread the message of grace. 

Our story of loss doesn't have to end with bitterness. It can end with the people closest to us looking at our lives and saying, "To God be the glory, great things He has done..."!

Over the past four years I've learned a lot about loss. Here is another learning:

This is one of the most frustrating things about loss. We want it to make sense. We want to believe that somehow our pain is being used for a greater purpose. That's why we come up with trite little phrases to minimize our pain or to try and defend God.

In reality, there is often little explanation as to why we experience loss and pain. It may seem unspiritual to admit that, but some of the most spiritual people in the Bible were the ones who chose to be honest about the senselessness of their loss.

Most of the Psalms written by King David were not Psalms of praise and thanksgiving, they were Psalms of lament where David expressed his frustration of feeling like God had abandoned him or let him down.

Even the great spiritual giant, Job, complained in the middle of his losses, "I am disgusted with my life. Let me complain freely. My bitter soul must complain. I will say to God, 'Don't simply condemn me-tell me the charge you are bringing against me. What do you gain by oppressing me? Why do you reject me, the work of your own hands...'" (Job 10:1-3)

Don't spend too much time trying to make sense of your loss or trying to connect the dots of your pain. Give yourself permission to grieve, instead of trying to answer the unanswerable.

Since that day, we've learned a lot about loss.

This week I'll write about some of the lessons I shared with Great Lakes Church on Sunday. 

You may feel alone, but you're not! Everybody experiences loss in their life. Some experience the loss of a marriage. Others experience the loss of a dream... or a childhood... or a career. Nobody is exempt from loss.

Don't minimize your loss by comparing it to another person's loss. It's tempting to mask our pain by saying, "Well I just experienced the loss of a job and that's nothing compared to the loss of a child." 

It's true that if we had to choose between two types of losses we would choose the one we perceive to be less painful. However, every time someone experiences a loss in their life... it's incredibly agonizing and stressful to them.

Don't be heartless and immature by acting like someone shouldn't grieve their loss just because you can think of bigger losses in the world!

If I had one shot at giving a 5 minute talk to the entire world at one time, it would be the message I gave on Easter Sunday.

Here's the summary: No matter how hard you try, pray or discipline yourself to be a "good person"... you will always struggle in becoming the individual you hope you can be. In other words, you'll NEVER measure up. You will ALWAYS fail.

You can refrain from gossip for a while, but occasionally you'll gravitate back towards talking about people behind their back. Same thing with addictions. And lying. And anger. And lust. And hurtful words.

You'll never fully overcome anything. You'll always struggle with hypocrisy, and jealousy and arrogance.

The bottom line message of the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ is, "I fail. I'll never measure up. Therefore I look to the death of Jesus Christ as the forgiveness for my sins once and for all."

Christianity never says, "I behave better than most people." It says, "I'm a hypocrite. I wish I had more discipline than I do. I hurt people, even though I know I shouldn't. Therefore I won't even pretend that I'm better than most people. In many cases, I'm actually worse. That's why I look to Jesus as my Savior. He's perfect and I'm not."